God is Working Much Faster Than I Could Have Expected

NEW VERSION OF THIS POST:

Tonight I started to read the book of Leviticus. Before I comment on my thoughts about the first few chapters, please allow me to post some overarching thoughts about Exodus.

The book of Exodus was quite an exhilerating read for me... at first. The more I delve into scripture, the more vividly it appears in my mental movie screen. To read about the many plagues and miracles God used to free His people from slavery was nothing short of inspiring. It's gotten to the point that I don't even question the legitimacy of these verses, which is quite baffling in itself if I stop and think about how much I once resisted the truth of these books. That's just one facet of my transformation, but as someone who still recalls his old ways, it just speaks to how much God has done to soften my heart and mind to His blessings. Genesis and Exodus, while not the most recommended starting places for new Christians, really helped to spark my enthusiasm. Our world's history is absolutely breathtaking. It just is.

But then the story suffers an abrupt end to the action. Moses painstakingly halts the plot, albeit with good reason, to write about the laws God teaches him. He describes the meticulous ways that man is to build the Ark, its sanctuary, and the many garbs to be worn by Hebrew priests. While fascinating in detail, these chapters are completely void of humanity. They are strict laws that can almost border on cultish. Let's switch gears and focus on the positive side: not only are we blessed through Christ's sacrifice, those of us who live after His first coming are blessed to not be subjected to the arcane rules described in Exodus and Leviticus.

I won't lie. I genuinely hoped Leviticus would resume the story that was halted in the Desert of Sin. From a reader's perspective, I'm waiting for something new to happen and vicariously yearning for these people to FINALLY get out of the freaking desert. Man is it taking a long time. The art snob in me applauds this. A good writer can make you hate the villain, love the hero, and feel all the emotions described therein. When I read about the materials and formation of arks and clothes and so on, it frustrates my internal reader, who simply wants something to happen. In writing, we call this stuff info dump. That's when an author spends an extraneous amount of time describing a setting (or anything, really) instead of entertaining the reader's desire to see something actually happen.

Certainly, I extract a lot of joy from serving God and knowing that I am working on behalf of a greater cause than I can understand. The actual method to it can be pretty unspectacular. The laws described in Leviticus almost leech the spirituality from what they represent. They are so methodical and drab that it almost sounds easy to forget that people did these things to earn God's favour. Here's the example quoted below, which I will paste a second time (though this is the first you'll read the citation):

Leviticus 4: 27-31 "27 " 'If a member of the community sins unintentionally and does what is forbidden in any of the LORD's commands, he is guilty. 28 When he is made aware of the sin he committed, he must bring as his offering for the sin he committed a female goat without defect. 29 He is to lay his hand on the head of the sin offering and slaughter it at the place of the burnt offering. 30 Then the priest is to take some of the blood with his finger and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering and pour out the rest of the blood at the base of the altar. 31 He shall remove all the fat, just as the fat is removed from the fellowship offering, and the priest shall burn it on the altar as an aroma pleasing to the LORD. In this way the priest will make atonement for him, and he will be forgiven."

The first time I read that, I glossed over the word "unintentionally". It seemed to me that God was offering man a way to purchase forgiveness. That was exactly one of my problems with the traditional Catholic church. Another, of course, was their ritualistic way of worshipping God.

My Wesleyan experience has been quite the opposite. The pastors pray about what to preach, and they consistently express in terms that are applicable to everyone's life. I think it no mere coincidence that they always address things that are very relevent to my previous week. God has been so generous in giving me answers through my brothers and sisters in Christ. It just fuels my desire to share my faith. The passages above (and below), in contrast, seem like loopholes at first. It seemed as if God was relinquishing His judgment, that anyone could commit any sin and merely fork over a head of cattle to a priest. What's worse, there's mention in verse 3 of the same chapter that when priests sin, it brings guilt upon all the people. I sure as heck didn't approve of that.

Unlike last night, I decided to read ahead to see if these points would be clarified. Last night I made the mistake about discussing the sin of greed with regards to the offerings that would yield materials for the Ark's construction. Perhaps those who withheld proved my point, but I would have preferred to use a more generic example. I thought it kind of silly, and a little embarassing, that subsequent chapters would offer a much better citation: the part where Aaron tempers a false idol out of gold. That was a perfect example of greed, because it was a lust for power. Anything empty is sinful, as God never commands us to do anything without purpose. He may test or tempt us at times, but the testing of faith is entirely justified. (Remember when He tempted Abraham to kill Isaac?)

So I read on. I found that Leviticus wasn't shedding much light on my confusion. The story wasn't progressing. Moses was describing monotonous law after monotonous law. Yakkity yak. I'd have been more okay with this if I felt it wasn't a cop out of some kind. Yes, God was being merciful; yes, He was offering man a way to atone even before Jesus Christ came in did that on our universal behalf. Yes, I can understand why God would want us to do something that is pleasing to Him, even if it was just for the sake of sanctifying a base creature and producing something aromatically pleasing to Him. But, darn it all, I didn't understand why He was willing to let us sin and then make it up with such seemingly foolish practices.

Then it occurred to me, as I noted earlier, that these laws only applied to those who sin unintentionally. People didn't get to buy their way into sinful lives; they were offered a chance to atone for their ignorance. God is perfectly just in holding us responsible for sin of any kind, but He is so loving and merciful that He was willing to proffer a way out of damnation when it's our limitation, not intent, that leads us astray. But that's the difference between focussing on what we struggle with and focussing on the whole picture. It's just that, this time last month, it would have taken me a couple days to sort all this out in my head. Now, I get near instant results. I'm at peace again. The old me would have metaphorically shaken a fist at God in protest, but this time I merely told Him that I wasn't certain about these passages. It wasn't spiteful; it was a genuine concern for my progress. I can't tell you why He loves me enough to swoop in and clear my head, but He did just that. There's no way I wasn't going to mention it in here.

As I said, I occasionally remember the old version of myself. I don't miss the stubborn emptiness I once embodied, but I remember how desolate it felt. I remember the way I used to ignorantly scorn my uneducated perception of God and what He stands for. Maybe it would be healthy for me to skip to the New Testament and then read these books later. But for those who can approach any part of the gospel with an open mind, I don't think there is a right or wrong sequence. Just let God guide you through it, whatever you do. Some parts of the story may be less aesthetically pleasing than others. Certainly, Christ's resurrection and the promises described in Revelation are my current favourites. But there's value in every single syllable in the Bible. I used to doubt that too. How dangerous my life used to be.

As I told Matt this evening: I feel like I'm only a month old. It's okay, though. I love being eternally young. I also love the fact that every day of my life is the most important day of my life. When I wake up tomorrow, I will have all the wisdom God has given me. And I'll add to it, because I just can't allow myself to live an entire day without reading at least some of the gospel. This is my journey, and it will never end. For such an ugly world, it's a beautiful promise we can all share in, if we choose to.

OLD VERSION OF THIS POST: "A Retraction, For Humility's Sake"

You know what? As blessed as I am to have my relationship with Jesus Christ, I am slowly learning that mere existence after Christ's coming is a blessing in itself. We have it much, much easier than the people of Old Testament times. I will try to be very tactful in how I say the following points, and I should also be careful to not declare them too early. Nevertheless, I would like to state for the present time that I've never witnessed any Catholic rituals that were half as bizarre as the first chapters of Leviticus.

Here's a little teaser for those who haven't read this book:

Leviticus 4: 27-31 "27 " 'If a member of the community sins unintentionally and does what is forbidden in any of the LORD's commands, he is guilty. 28 When he is made aware of the sin he committed, he must bring as his offering for the sin he committed a female goat without defect. 29 He is to lay his hand on the head of the sin offering and slaughter it at the place of the burnt offering. 30 Then the priest is to take some of the blood with his finger and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering and pour out the rest of the blood at the base of the altar. 31 He shall remove all the fat, just as the fat is removed from the fellowship offering, and the priest shall burn it on the altar as an aroma pleasing to the LORD. In this way the priest will make atonement for him, and he will be forgiven."

What's so disturbing about this? For starters, these rituals almost supercede the act of repentance. These procedures could certainly be construed as merciful, as God offers man a way to atone for sin, something I previously thought only possible after Christ's sacrifice. Also, I have no trouble accepting the fact that burnt offerings might be aromatically pleasing to God. But as I said above, the idea that one need only purchase and offer an animal as a means to erase sin is quite a spiritual loophole.

[end post in progress]