Postulating Out Loud

It seems like a silly thing to dwell on, but sometimes it bothers me how privileged I am. Now that Lee Strobel's book has satisfied my assertion that science and faith are not mutual opposites (with ample scientific data, I might add), I feel free to explore the complexities of morality more freely. It's not that science was ever a huge stumbling block for me; I was always more concerned with origin than the evolution of existing creatures, as why would it be inherent on God to tell us when He creates new species or evolves existing ones? The important issue has always been how things came to be in the first place. I see God working through people all the time, so it's utterly unfounded for accepted Christian doctrine to enforce rules upon God about what He may or may not do after the first six days. In fact, Christ as well as said that He and God were both working, and Christ demonstrated it. And still does.

So, I thought to myself, as I examined the book of Genesis one night and determined that I saw no reason for science and faith to fight to the death, now that I've established a foundation in support of the physical truths, all I have to do is read the rest of the Bible and learn the intricacies of morality. That should be the easier one, I thought, because I've been pondering such philosophical truths since I was a teen. Surely, I would need some spiritual calibration, but there seemed as if I couldn't possibly have been so far out that I wasn't past the worst of it. Yet again I get served a 5-course meal of humble pie. I'm confused.

My last two posts touch on why. Not comprehensively, but they broach the subject: Why is it that I've been allowed 27 years of sinful indulgence, mistakes, transgressions, etc., when so many sinners in the Old Testament were eradicated the second they were spied with their hands in the jar? These are the type of people we observe Christ ministering to, and I'm eternally grateful that God send my cousin Matt and a slew of others to plant seeds in my mind over the past decade or more, but it just seems like I've been given limitless opportunities to get right with God, whereas others were not offered the same olive branch.

See, in spite of my past--and I do have a past, and it is very ugly--I want to get right with the LORD. I want to make every decision according to His will. I've been trying. It would flip your skull to see how many chapters of my old life have been closed, hopefully forever, over the past month. If I am to remain in control of my destiny, if God is willing to keep the will and life (mine) which I have given Him, then, even though I am completely unworthy of salvation, I can achieve it. As is always the case, I have a good thing and I want to share it. All good experiences are better when shared. It's just a little daunting to read how many people in the Old World never received such blessings. Genesis doesn't elaborate much on how badly these people strayed, how much of it was their own lustful existence and not even based on temptation. I trust that God is free to do what He wishes with anything He creates, and, if I were to ever create a universe, I would want to retain the same control. That's why I can accept what I don't understand; these people were not mine to judge and they never will be. What I may never understand (and don't need to in order to serve God) is what makes me so freaking special. I don't see it. At all. And that's okay. But you better believe I'm aware of these things.